Butthurt clown king has meltdown

Duterte confused

“What, me worry?”

UPDATE 2/14/2020:  Meanwhile, quack lawyer, flamboyant media whore and failed Dturd minion Harry Roque must be missing the limelight and has crawled out of his closet to babble to whoever will listen.

Nose Roque shouting

Remember this idiot?

This time, he’s peddling to CNN the preposterous argument that a US marine convicted of homicide in the death of a transvestite prostitute several years ago should be transferred to a Philippine prison upon the abrogation of the Visiting Forces Agreement. (The marine is currently imprisoned on a Philippine military base under conditions agreed upon by the Philippines and the U.S., which is precisely what the VFA mandates.)

Surely, even a dufus like Roque is smart enough to understand that a case duly adjudicated under provisions of the VFA does not suddenly revert to some pre-VFA status upon termination of the VFA.  Current Dturd mouthpiece Salvador Panelo — the dufus who replaced the even more incompetent Roque — told CNN that the marine’s situation would not be affected by termination of the VFA.

No shit, Sherlock.

In other words, there’s no story here.

You’d really think that by now big-name media outlets like CNN would realize that Roque is full of shit and will say just about anything to get attention, yet they treat him as if he were a credible source of information and provide him with an unwarranted platform to confuse and inflame public opinion.

That’s stupid and irresponsible.  It’s “cheap date journalism,” in which a media outlet need not make any real effort to ask pertinent questions or ferret out the truth, or even make sense of a situation, but simply hand a microphone over to whoever is eager to spout off about something.

In this case, CNN even managed to get its story factually incorrect by reporting that the marine “was found guilty in the 2014 murder.”  In truth, the marine was charged with murder but found guilty of the lesser crime of homicide.  A killing is not necessarily a murder, which was the entire crux of the case, yet these idiots still can’t get the basics straight some six years later.  Amazing incompetence.

The real story here is that the U.S. fully cooperated with every aspect of the investigation and court proceedings that resulted in the conviction and imprisonment of an American serviceman for a crime committed in the Philippines.

In other words, the VFA functioned exactly as it was designed to function, despite the constant ridiculous theatrics of Roque and the assorted Communist blowhards and self-serving douchebags who attached themselves to the sordid spectacle for devious propaganda purposes and turned the atmosphere outside the courtroom into a ridiculous freak show.

CNN should really be asking why Roque has still not been disbarred for illegally facilitating the embarrassing breach of a Philippine military facility.

UPDATE 2/14/2020:  Even the perpetually petulant Inquirer has sobered up a bit and forced itself to admit that abruptly abrogating the Visiting Forces Agreement might actually be pretty bad for the Philippines.

It’s refreshing, if somewhat amusing, to see the Inquirer drag itself into reality after so many years of bitchy and often sensational anti-American rhetorical blather.

Even so, the pseudo-nationalist “intellectuals” and closet Communists running that shit show really had to force themselves to admit the obvious, to wit:

“In brief, the VFA has its strong and weak points, the latter vividly standing out in the context of a former colony still shackled by its colonized past. Yet the US government’s “soft” presence is also manifested in sundry forms of humanitarian assistance, such as what was displayed in the aftermath of Supertyphoon “Yolanda” in 2013.

A renegotiation of the VFA to make it as close as realistically possible to an agreement between equals is the correct way to go in this fraught issue.”

What, exactly, needs to be urgently renegotiated is, of course, unclear, but they’ll always find something to whine about.  In the past, they’ve wasted a lot of space grumbling about the fact that the VFA provides the US military with custody over American personnel charged with crimes in the Philippines until all court proceedings are exhausted.  They’ve never got around to explaining why that very reasonable arrangement is so onerous and unacceptable, other than referencing vague concerns about national sovereignty — that is, pseudo-nationalist ego.

But the Philippine government, and quite a lot of the media, seem to run mostly on vanity and the warped cult of victim-posturing.  A perfect example is Dturd’s tantrum over the principled denial of Bato dela Rosa’s visa application over his undeniably atrocious involvement in the mass slaughter of Filipinos in Dturd’s phony “drug war.”

Dturd fumes that the Americans are “rude” and “arrogant” for standing up for ordinary Filipinos who have been callously assassinated by his criminal regime.

What a twisted sense of priorities and Orwellian view of reality.

UPDATE 2/13/2020:  So much for all the vague talk about “strengthening our own defenses and not relying on any other country.”  It turns out that what Dturd really means is more aggressively peddling his wrinkled ass to all takers and sucking up to the Russians as well as the Chinese.

These kinds of games rarely turn out well for weak and greedy opportunists like the Dturd gang.  Pretty soon, people are going to really, really wish they could turn back the clock, and the bad old days of Yankee imperialism that so many fake nationalists perpetually whine about are going to look very, very good in comparison.

UPDATE 2/11/20:  Well, Dturd doubled down on the crazy and actually had notice served on the U.S. that he was terminating the Visiting Forces Agreement and officially bending over for a panda gang-bang.

The usual blind and dogmatic commie press release junkies celebrated but it’s just never enough to make them shut up and go away.

Others of a more sober nature contemplated the actual effects of this stupid, rash, and exceedingly childish move.

And some, sounding more than a bit like apologists, opine that “behind this veneer of personal grievance lies a long-term desire to wean the Philippines away from the United States and deliver it into a strategic alignment with China before Duterte’s term ends in 2022.”

That’s giving Dturd far too much credit for rational thinking.  The truth is that he simply has a life-long animosity toward Americans and is happy to sell out to China for whatever he can get to provide illusions of progress.  It really is just that simple.

Meanwhile, Dturd’s crass buffoon foreign secretary hinted quite strongly that this is all just a negotiating posture.

That’s quite likely the case.  That and a childish cry for attention.  But this time, just don’t blame the mess on the U.S. when China takes advantage.  Just don’t.

UPDATE 2/10/20:  This fiasco is quickly becoming a farce, to nobody’s particular surprise.

After letting his mouth do the thinking as well as the ranting, Dturd now looks like he’s squirming and looking for a face-saving way out.  He’s claiming that US President Donald Trump is “trying to save” the Visiting Forces Agreement.  No specifics offered, of course.

Meanwhile, the Philippine Senate just passed a what-the-fuck-are-you-thinking? resolution urging Dturd to, ahem, reconsider this idiocy.

The Senate wants to revisit the VFA, rather than abruptly scrap it.  In other words, play the China card and try to extract more giveaways from the U.S.  This shit just never ends.

Dturd’s own Cabinet is busy pointing fingers at each other and looking like a car full of clowns.  Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana publicly called Presidential Spokesman Salvador Panelo’s claim that Dturd had ordered that an official notice of abrogation of the VFA be sent to the U.S. “fake news.”  Ouch.  Panelo, of course, insists there’s no inconsistency in his garbled statements.

And it turns out that, all the finger-pointing aside, the U.S. has received no formal order to terminate the treaty, and presumably this all remains just a bunch of loose talk.

The American media is left to opine that Dturd’s “ego and mental instability have no limits.”

So will Dturd stick to his guns and shoot his nation in the head?  Or will he find a way to back down without looking like a big dumb pussy, so this can all just go away?

Earlier, 2/7/20:

You really know your nation is run by a petulant provincial brat when he makes rash decisions about national security that are driven by perceived slight rather than actual national security interests.

Dturd’s impulsive command to abrogate the Visiting Forces Agreement between the Philippines and the U.S. — the treaty that establishes a legal framework governing U.S. troops visiting the country to interact with their Philippine counterparts — would at least make some twisted sense if he had been acting at the behest of his puppet masters in China.

But no, he’s simply flipping out because the U.S. denied a visa to his longtime gopher and enforcer, Ronald “Bato” Dela Rosa, who oversaw Dturd’s assassination campaigns back in Davao before Dturd inflicted him upon the entire nation with his fake “drug war” cum national distraction and bad-action-movie-fantasy-role murder spree.  Bato is now a senator and dependable Dturd stooge.

It has been reported that Dturd plans to soon have a telephone conversation with U.S. President Trump, another highly insecure national leader who’s not known for rational public policy decision-making.

Let’s see how that goes.  Dturd is no doubt desperately hoping that Trump will give him some face-saving excuse to back down from this nonsense.

And he might.  Trump is no defender of human rights, and it’s easy to see him ordering his State Department to grant Bato’s visa and say this was all a misunderstanding.

But Trump really, really doesn’t like to be muscled.  So it’s also easy to see him telling Dturd to go bend over for China until they fuck him inside out.

The irony here is that even Dturd quite likely understands that he’s making a stupid move.  But now that he’s publicly ranted about it, he can’t allow himself to back down and act like a true leader and skilled diplomat.  Nope, because the only thing that really matters is his petty macho theatrics.  Some really, really stupid, childish people are actually impressed by this type of silly bullshit.

But let’s be real here.  Dturd is desperately attempting to compensate for his personal insecurities: the facts that he was dominated by strong women as a child (and was possibly molested by a priest), grew up a spoiled petty provincial elite brat who idolized the macho bodyguards who ensured that he didn’t get his ass kicked, and has spent a lifetime affecting an underprivileged man-of-the-people and one-man-army persona to cover it all up.  It’s like a really, really shitty movie for wimpy macho-fantasizing teenagers that just keeps playing.

But would a national leader really jeopardize his nation’s defense at a critical time — when a regional bully is stealing everything it can and an enormous public health calamity is just getting started — because he’s butthurt over a perceived public slight?

A true national leader definitely would not.

But a ridiculous old tantrum-prone clown surrounded by spineless stooges might.



A big shout-out to Salvador Panelo, Philippine murder apologist!


Brown-nosed toady extraordinaire!

We really need to thank Presidential Spokesperson and Chief Toady Salvador “Dumbfuck” Panelo for bringing to our attention a new American-made documentary about President Rodrigo “D-Turd” Duterte’s murderous “drug war.”

We had not yet heard about the documentary by the US Public Broadcasting System show Frontline, which has earned a solid reputation for quality investigative reporting on many subjects.

But now Panelo has issued a statement condemning the film, and that has led us and many others to become aware of it and to eagerly anticipate watching it.

Panelo’s claim that D-Turd does not order or condone state-sponsored killings is, of course, utterly preposterous.  Of course he does, and he doesn’t even really try to hide it.  In fact he gloats about it.  But ludicrous public statements are what everyone with a shred of common sense has come to expect from D-Turd’s ridiculous butt-snuggling toady.

This documentary is long overdue, and perhaps it could be criticized for raking over some coals that have already been examined in detail by Filipino journalists and many others.

But we’ll certainly look forward to a fresh take on the situation, and to more stupid reactions from those responsible — and their absurd groupies.

A preview of the new documentary is available here.

The full film is scheduled to air in the US on October 8, 2019, and should be available on the Frontline website soon after.

In the meantime, viewers may want to check out the many other documentaries that are already available on the website regarding important topics such as immigration, public health, and US President Trump.



Duterte’s tedious whining game and shameless sell-out

Duterte confused

As most thinking people know, Philippine Dipshit-in-Chief Rodrigo Duterte is a spoiled petty-elite provincial brat who grew up protected by bodyguards and restrained only by a few strong women, but he affects street smart machismo and sexual prowess to assuage his deep and well-deserved insecurities and further his top-dog fantasies.

But when it comes right down to it, he’s obviously just a scared little bitch searching for opportunities to peddle his posterior.

That’s why he’s been such a shameless suck-up to the Chinese thugs who pretty much own him, but occasionally comes running to his American bodyguards when the Chinese bitch-slap him a little too hard.

That, in a nutshell, explains D-Turd’s stupid and reckless public statements about “invoking” the U.S.-Philippines Mutual Defense Treaty and rhetoric about “demanding” that the U.S. park the entire Seventh Fleet off China’s coast to protect his sorry ass.

Because this has all just been a bunch of half-assed comments from a shit-talking clown, rather than an actual request for defense assistance.

You might not get that impression from some of the sloppy and ignorant media accounts of D-Turd’s off-the-cuff remarks, which have sounded much more like the rambling nonsense of some annoying old souse at the end of the bar than presidential discourse about matters of national security.

You see, he hasn’t actually asked the U.S. to do anything at all regarding China.  He has merely made loose-cannon public comments about wanting to do so.

His toadies were forced to admit as much, “explaining” that D-Turd was merely engaging in sarcasm.

Translation:  “He was just talking out of his ass, as usual.  You should know by now that he’s just full of shit.”

It’s all just a game of posturing, deflecting and blame-shifting:  “I asked the U.S. to protect me but they wouldn’t do it, so now I have no choice but to keep selling my wrinkled old ass to China for whatever I can get.”

And stop thinking about his cowardly failure to stick up for his own country regarding fishing rights and maritime hit-and-run incidents.

When you boil it all down, D-Turd is no leader, and he’s certainly no macho bad-ass.

He’s nothing but a cheap, skanky, broken-down old whore, selling out the whole nation.

It’s a crying shame that so many stupid people can’t seem to grasp that painfully obvious truth.

The Mysterious Professor Ocampo


What a hoot.

Ateneo history prof and rambling newspaper columnist Ambeth Ocampo is known primarily for two things, aside from his obvious tragic inability to grasp the concept of personal grooming:

(1)  Getting himself lost in the weeds of historical minutiae and losing sight of the adjacent highway, to the point of routinely performing unwitting self-parody; and

(2)  Exhibiting the tired old petulant anti-Americanism with which so many Filipino pansy-elites have long sought to promote themselves, deflect their failures, and mask their personal insecurities.

He’s a diligent researcher but not much of a writer.  It must be hell to have him as a professor.

At any rate, he put his dubious traits on display once again in a recent column about certain illusions regarding Philippine independence.  Oh wait.  No, that’s what the column should have been about.  Instead, it quickly devolved into a petty attack on a very obscure minor footnote in history, one Colonel L.M. Johnson, an American who, prior to the outbreak of hostilities between American and Filipino forces in 1898, apparently offered to place himself under the command of revolutionary President Emilio Aguinaldo and quite possibly served him as an artillery officer; was a signatory to the Philippine declaration of independence (Correction:  he was referenced in the declaration but was not a signatory, despite Mr. Ocampo’s inaccurate description and similar references by many others); and subsequently faded into obscurity.

Ocampo’s column begins with a brisk examination of some common distortions of Philippine history that have long been foisted upon schoolchildren.  For example, Aguinaldo did not publicly read the declaration of Philippine independence and wave the flag to a cheering crowd from a balcony of his mansion in Kawit, Cavite, as has been depicted in fanciful artworks and simplified historical accounts.

After that, Ocampo promptly segues into an attack on Johnson, of whom he demonstrates very sparse knowledge.

After recounting a letter from Johnson to Aguinaldo in which Johnson narrates that he was accepted into Aguinaldo’s service (which the reference to Johnson on the declaration of independence would certainly appear to substantiate) but had as yet received no orders from Aguinaldo, Ocampo concludes that Johnson then “was ignored” by Aguinaldo and company.

What Ocampo obviously should have written was the apparent simple truth: Ocampo is unaware of, or could find no record of, Aguinaldo responding to Johnson, any further evidence that Johnson subsequently served under Aguinaldo, or anything else about Johnson.

But instead, he simply concludes that Johnson “was ignored,” himself ignoring the rather obvious possibilities that Johnson (1) Joined American forces after the outbreak of hostilities; (2) Died from one of the tropical maladies that decimated so many other Americans in those days; (3) Obtained alternative employment with some other up-and-coming would-be despot who had his shit a little more together; (4) Became smitten with some local belle of the ball and contented himself with more interesting endeavors; or (5) Was an American spy or informant all along, and concluded his mission.  There are plenty of other scenarios upon which to speculate, but you get the drift.  To be clear, these scenarios are presented as idle speculation, rather than fact, and to make the point that Ocampo presented no evidence that he entertained other possibilities prior to drawing his unsupported conclusions.

It turns out that other historians have researched Johnson more thoroughly, and have narrated that he was an entrepreneur, soldier of fortune, and perhaps something of a fabulist; he was considered Aguinaldo’s chief of ordnance for a time;  and that Aguinaldo may have bestowed the title of Colonel upon Johnson and used his presence at the declaration of independence to create the false impression that the United States fully supported Aguinaldo’s faction of revolutionaries and would support their power grab.

If it is true, as an American newspaper account of the time described, that Johnson had been taken onto Aguinaldo’s staff as an artillery officer, then Ocampo is flat wrong to declare, while presenting no evidence, that Johnson “was not a member of Aguinaldo’s Army.”  Ocampo also seems to overlook that Johnson apparently also not only was referenced in the declaration of independence, but publicly addressed the crowd assembled for the declaration — and as a representative of Aguinaldo and his forces.

And not content to offer as fact his unsupported conclusion that Johnson “was ignored” by the presumably intellectually superior Filipino revolutionaries, Ocampo gets carried away with himself and casts doubt upon Johnson’s professed military credentials without offering a shred of factual support, then simply proclaims that “The mysterious Colonel Johnson didn’t even make fried chicken, he was fake news.”

Setting aside Ocampo’s obviously poor sentence construction, we can assume, dear reader, that the reference to fried chicken was a lame attempt at humor by inferred reference to Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame.  Haha.  Or not.

Declaring that Johnson “was fake news” seems particularly idiotic, since this very obscure historical figure was scarcely “news” at all, and Ocampo has offered nothing to dignify his conclusion that Johnson was “fake” (or that he abstained from fried chicken, for that matter).  He was certainly no more fake than a young and ambitious regional elitist declaring himself dictator cum president of the Philippines.  Indeed, it certainly appears that, if anything, Aguinaldo was the one using Johnson to perpetrate a fraud against Filipinos and create illusions of support and legitimacy, and that Johnson eventually figured out his true position or got fed up with the incessant squabbling and dysfunction of the revolutionaries and abandoned Aguinaldo as Philippine relations with the U.S. soured and other opportunities presented themselves.  Others have found convincing evidence that Johnson had considerable military experience with artillery, had actively served Aguinaldo and engaged in actual hostilities against Spain before quitting, and later became the deputy fire chief of Manila during the early American era before going on to other adventures.

Ocampo concludes reasonably that “One hundred and twenty-one years since, we have much to (un)learn concerning Independence Day.”

Yes indeed.  But it’s rather a shame that any impressionable students or newspaper readers are learning history from a myopic professor and shitty writer with such sloppy and childish proclivities.

Was Johnson a bullshit artist?


But probably no more so than Aguinaldo.

And certainly no more so than Ocampo.

Ang Mga Totoong Bobo

Taking a new low in paranoid stupidity, unconstitutional bullying, and absurd hypocrisy, the Dturd regime’s enforcement stooges have arrested a blogger who merely shared a link to the controversial “Bikoy” propaganda videos that allege Dturd, some family members, and others are heavily involved the illegal narcotics trade, and charged the blogger with inciting sedition.

It’s impossible to tell whether there’s any, or much, truth to the claims in the videos.  But arresting somebody for simply linking to them is bound to accomplish one thing:  draw more attention to the videos and the claims they make.

(The Despicable Shitrag, otherwise known as the Manila Times, erroneously trumpeted the arrest of the person who appears in the videos and allegedly uploaded them, which says a lot about the stupidity of the people running that shit show, and their very loose standards.  Yes, this is the same stupid shitrag that published a banner story listing various media figures and legal groups allegedly engaged in a conspiracy to topple the regime.  Oh, the irony.  Incidentally, palace stooge and court jester Salvador “Dumbfuck” Panelo has flip-flopped and denied that the Times received the so-called “matrix” of alleged conspirators from Dturd, as he had claimed earlier, and has now claimed instead that the error-riddled matrix came from an unknown source.  If that nonsense were actually true, it would prove that the Manila Times has publicly lied to everyone, or was seriously duped, when it claimed in it’s doofy attempt to justify publishing the matrix that the president’s office was the source).

What all this should really do is draw more attention to the fact that Dturd has built his political career on publicly releasing lists of people and accusing them of crimes, and that many, many, many of those people were summarily executed, and that there are, to put it very mildly, very strong suspicions and credible accusations that Dturd acquiesced to, directed, or rewarded those responsible.  For decades.

The regime’s intent, of course, is to intimidate, which seems to be the only note these clowns know how to play.

So in case anyone missed it above, the link to the first “Bikoy” video is below.

Come and get us.


Manila’s matrix of idiocy

Duterte confused

Doofy Manila Times “publisher emeritus” and craven Duterte butt-snuggler Dante Ang is really owed some appreciation at this point.

His use of his despicable shitrag “newspaper” to spread wild claims of a “matrix” of conspirators engaged in a “plot” to “destabilize” the government of the clearly unstable Dipshit-in-Chief, and his laughable attempts since then to defend this kooky nonsense and attack his critics, have really done everyone a big favor.

First of all, Ang has made it abundantly clear that the Manila Times is a preposterous propaganda sheet that’s good for nothing besides a good hoot from anyone with half a brain who’s bored enough to occasionally thumb through it to see how low the toady press will stoop — although it is also useful for wiping of hindquarters by those living along the train tracks where tissue is scarce.

Second, Ang has also made it clear that the palace is spoon-feeding it the nonsense it tries to peddle — in case there were ever any doubt.

Third, Ang has made it clear to his minions that he will not tolerate anyone in his employ stating the obvious:  that a kooky diagram concocted by a dim-wit PR hack who owns a fake newspaper is not evidence of anything (besides, of course, the hack’s subservience to his abusive master).  Any minion is his employ who retains a shred of self-respect should do themself a favor and get out of that putrid snake pit at once.

But most importantly, Ang has underscored the serious need to promote and defend actual journalism in the Philippines, which is increasingly under attack from a paranoid and abusive government that’s bloated with shameless toadies and uncritically praised and defended by ridiculous ass-polishing weasels.

In a sane world, this fiasco would be the end of the Manila Times.

But shameless brown-nosers have a way of surviving while the object of their affections remains installed, so the best we can hope for is a few more good chuckles until this nightmare is finally over and a more rational leader is elected.

In related matters, it’s important to note that when Dturd flies to China to smooch the posteriors of his masters there, he quite predictably seeks to deflect attention from his subservience by posing as a nationalist and making outlandish statements to seek attention, such as his goofy tirades against Canada regarding the same old dispute over an illicit garbage shipment.

As usual, nothing will come of it but he will have diverted a few eyes while he bends over again for the giant panda gang bang.

Some things never seem to change.

Idiotic harassment of Rappler must stop


Only stupid people are smiling.

Here we go again.

Once again, journalist and Rappler news site boss Maria Ressa has been hauled off to the hoosegow by stupid people acting on behalf of other stupid people who seem intent on making themselves look stupid.

The pretext for this obvious act of harassment is preposterously stupid.

The accusation is that a form of investment that non-Philippine citizens commonly utilize to legally participate in Philippine businesses is suddenly somehow illegal.

There was nothing shady, secretive, or illegal here.

Even if that were the case, the alleged transgression no longer exists because the non-Philippine citizen at issue here long ago shed his investment and thus cured the trumped-up charge.

But everyone has to go through this dumb-fuck charade anyway, because a shriveled-dick drug-addled old fool with an onion skin and plenty of screws loose is still butt-hurt about something and is surrounded by craven butt-kissers who are too chickenshit to advise him of how stupid this makes him look.

And let’s be clear:  very little of the uncritical adulation that Rappler has received of late is well-deserved.

Yes, Rappler occasionally engages in actual journalism and has produced some very respectable work at times, especially regarding Dturd’s hideous “drug war.”

But it’s also produced a huge amount of lazy press release-driven garbage and silly emotional blather, and the site is mostly just clogged up with too much useless crap.  It’s hardly the spunky ass-kicking bastion of hard-hitting  journalism that it’s been made out to be.

Sometimes they simply don’t get their facts straight.  We’ve gently made that point from time to time.

And it hasn’t even been particularly critical of Dturd — certainly not lately.

But none of that really matters.  The only thing that matters here is that an abusive government run by a punk-ass spoiled rich kid sociopath is being utilized to attack the Philippine Constitution and the rights enshrined therein for every citizen.

And too many people are complicit in this bullshit, and in the thousands of murders and other unlawful acts that have been committed by or with the encouragement and complicity of this criminal regime.

The ultimate irony here is that this leader and his spineless minions are such craven toadies and sellouts to China while they pretend to be aghast at mere foreign investment in a web site — investment that has long since ceased to exist.

Boil it down and this is nothing but gaya gaya stupidity.  Lacking any originality and prone to lazy dumb-ass imitation, Duturd is obviously attempting to emulate Cambodia’s crooked strongman and uber China stooge, Hun Sen.

The Cambodian creep has used similar abuses of that country’s bogus legal system to attack media and posture as a nationalist while shamelessly bending over for a massive panda poking.

The real stupid thing about this situation in the Philippines is that all Dturd has done is elevate Rappler’s stature, turn Ressa into a martyr, and draw attention to what an abusive dumb fuck he is, and how crooked and abusive his prostituted government has become.

What a total fucking idiot.


This just in: Bears shit in the zoo, too

bear in the woods

Question:  “Do you want another beer?”

Answer, with another question:  “Does a bear shit in the woods?”

It’s a very old American idiomatic expression, used mostly by silly old farts who don’t know any better and could care even less.

In a nutshell, it means:  “Of course.  Obviously.”

And surprise, surprise, surprise, it turns out that bears and other animals also shit in the Manila Zoo.  And that the zoo lacks even basic sewage infrastructure, so the shit is unceremoniously dumped into a nearby estero, which empties into the foul waters of Manila Bay.

But now disgraced-and-ousted former president and inexplicably-later-elected Manila Mayor Joseph “Erap” Estrada is shocked, shocked, to learn of his zoo’s environmental transgressions, and has ordered the zoo closed until the sewage system is properly upgraded.

Nobody is exactly sure when that will be.

It’s all part of Dturd’s sudden interest in “cleaning up” Manila Bay, similar to the way he “cleaned up” Boracay by illegally closing that entire island.

Well, Boracay sure needed some cleaning up, and Manila Bay does too.  But there were some pretty clear winners and losers on Boracay, and an awful lot of bullshit.

And this sure seems to be part of the same old pattern of ignoring blatant problems for years, then suddenly “discovering” them for one reason or another, at which point they are treated as a dire emergency and draconian action is announced.

And pretty soon, all is forgotten and things go back to “normal,” after some secret underlying agenda is accomplished and studiously ignored by the media, or the need for a distraction or appearance of action has waned.

It’s like a game played by silly old farts who don’t know any better and could care even less.

Will the Manila Zoo later be reopened so that families can continue to enjoy it?  Or will the sewage problems become a pretext to shut the zoo down and sell off this valuable municipal real estate to yet another politically connected Chinese crook and some well-placed local partners?

Will the media even go through the motions of following up on any of this, or will things just kind of happen, the way so many other things do, while everyone is distracted by the next big outrage or disaster?


Too much Balangiga bullshit. UPDATED AT BOTTOM.

Balangiga bells

The historic Balangiga bells will finally be returning to Balangiga to ring for Christmas this year.

And that’s a great thing.

The bells never should have been removed by American soldiers in 1901, and certainly should never have been taken out of the Philippines.

The question now is whether people can greet the return of the bells with joy and maturity, and endeavor to gain a true understanding of the story behind the bells, or whether this important milestone will simply become yet another opportunity for opportunistic grandstanding, gloating, and preposterous distortions of history.

It’s pretty hard to be optimistic about the situation.  Too many public statements and media accounts have been absolutely riddled with distortions, selective memory, and ridiculous heaps of bullshit.

Nonsense from politicians is pretty predictable.  But it’s really disappointing that so much media coverage has been ridiculously lazy, convoluted, warped, and wrong.  Even some attempts to “set the record straight” have simply confused things further.

Let’s start with the basics:

The Balangiga Massacre was the devastating surprise attack on September 28, 1901, by Filipino guerrillas, police, and townsfolk on American troops occupying Balangiga town on the island of Samar.

Call the attackers patriots, freedom fighters, outlaws, or murderers: the result was a massacre.

Many of the Americans were hacked to pieces at their breakfast table before they could even stand.  Most others were slashed, stabbed, and chopped to death nearby.

The attack was a massacre.  Not an “encounter,” a “siege,” or any of the other euphemisms that have been carelessly employed lately.

In all, 48 Americans were either killed at Balangiga, died of their wounds soon after, or went missing and were presumed dead.

Despite the surprise nature of the attack and the overwhelming numerical superiority of the Filipinos, the Americans were able to rally and fight off the attackers, and 26 Americans survived and immediately fled to the nearest garrisons, along with some wounded who would later expire.

As would be expected, the American army immediately sent reinforcements to Balangiga, which by that time the Filipinos had evacuated.

The Americans torched the empty town and seized three bells, at least one of which allegedly had been used to signal the attack.

Many decades later, it became fashionable in some circles to assert that the more significant massacre was the series of reprisals across Samar conducted by the Americans in retaliation for the Balangiga Massacre.

And that certainly is a fair point.  The reprisals were bloody and destructive, likely claiming thousands of victims.

But it’s a huge mistake and distortion to label the reprisals “the Balangiga Massacre,” or claim that the Americans massacred anyone at Balangiga.

The Balangiga Massacre was the initial surprise attack by Filipino forces on the American occupiers.  There was nobody left at Balangiga to massacre when the American reinforcements arrived, though they no doubt would have massacred any armed Filipinos who remained there, and did in fact pick off a few lurking in the jungle nearby.

The series of reprisals across Samar over the following weeks and months can be characterized as a massacre, but the reprisals were not the Balangiga Massacre, and should not be characterized as such because doing so ignores the initial attack — the true Balangiga Massacre — and falsely suggests that the Americans massacred Filipinos at Balangiga, which they did not.

Some media types seem hopelessly confused about all this, and recklessly bounce back and forth.

Case in point:  the notoriously quality-control-challenged online publication Rappler published an article on December 10 stating that “In revenge for the US’ worst single defeat in the Philippines, the American forces led the Balangiga Massacre, where 2,500 to 10,000 Filipinos were killed.”

But in that sentence, the words “Balangiga Massacre” are highlighted and link to a previous article from September 28, entitled “FAST FACTS: Balangiga Massacre.”  A smaller headline for the second article proclaims that “The Balangiga Massacre of September 28, 1901, is considered as one of the bloodiest events of the Philippine-American war.”  The article then states that “The Balangiga Massacre was one of the bloodiest events during the Philippine-American War.  To this day, the United States considers this as their ‘worst single defeat’ in the history of the 3-year war from 1899 to 1902.”

So clearly, the second article is referring to the events of September 28, 1901, which the Americans considered their worst defeat in the war, as the Balangiga Massacre.  Yet the article that links to it characterizes the later American reprisals as the Balangiga Massacre.

And we’re not just picking on Rappler.  Plenty of other publications and personalities have confused and distorted all this, either deliberately or unknowingly.

The point here is not that there are differing interpretations of historical events.  The point is that some people seem utterly confused about these events, haven’t made a clear, informed, and consistent decision about how to describe them, and don’t seem to make much of an effort to so do.

Call the bloody reprisals on Samar what you will, but don’t confuse them with the Balangiga Massacre.

Which brings us to the infamous order of American General Jacob “Howling Jake” Smith following the massacre to turn Samar into a “howling wilderness” and kill every male on Samar over the age of ten who was “in actual hostilities against the United States,” and the equally infamous American newspaper cartoon ridiculing that cruel and unlawful order.

Balangiga cartoon.jpg

First of all, many people seem to be completely oblivious that the cartoon was hyperbolic and biting satire.  It was drawn to expose, attack, and ridicule Smith’s order — not to provide an accurate portrayal of exactly what was happening.

The cartoon was also published six months after Smith gave the order, and was in response to information presented at Smith’s court martial for his conduct on Samar.

Incidentally, that same court martial found that while Smith was guilty of “conduct to the prejudice of good order and military discipline,” the court determined that he “did not mean everything that his unexplained language implied; that his subordinates did not gather such a meaning; and that the orders were never executed in such sense.”  Somehow, those eager to reprint the satirical cartoon and take it as unadulterated fact never seem to examine the details behind the events satirized in the cartoon.

There’s simply no evidence that American troops systematically lined up Filipino ten-year-olds, bound their hands and blindfolded them, then executed them by firing squad, as depicted in the satirical cartoon.

Nor were any credible accusations made in 1901 or afterwards that such executions occurred.

The simple fact is that while American troops were certainly destructive, and certainly killed Filipinos, Smith’s order to kill all males over ten engaged in hostilities against the United States was immediately countermanded and disobeyed.  That’s well-documented, and even nationalist Filipino historians who have been highly critical of American conduct during the war have known that for decades.  The information has been readily available since Smith’s court martial in 1902, in which the officer to whom Smith gave the order testified that he had cautioned other officers that “we were not sent here to make war on women and children and old men.”

It’s really unfortunate that some people who know better seem to deliberately omit any mention of Smith’s order being countermanded, and many, many others are simply clueless and regurgitate without question the most sloppy reporting and biased propaganda.  (We tend to count Rappler among the latter.  The second article cited above claims that Smith “vowed that he would turn the town into a ‘howling wilderness.'”  The truth is that he ordered his troops to turn Samar into a howling wilderness.  The order did not simply apply to the town of Balangiga, nor was it a vow to personally carry out the destruction of Samar.  The article also gives the false impression that American troops simply carried out Smith’s order and killed all males over ten.)

So does all this mean that Americans never killed boys as young as ten during the reprisals on Samar?   Of course not.  In fact, they most likely did so on at least some occasions.  And they certainly killed many others who were older, both male and female.  They also burned crops and killed livestock.  The Filipino guerrillas also committed many similar acts of violence and destruction against the civilian population to prevent them from aligning themselves with the Americans, which does not excuse the American conduct put does help put things into a more accurate perspective.

The point here is that this issue has been badly distorted to provide the false impression that American troops systematically and without question rounded up all males over age ten in Balangiga or on Samar and summarily executed them.  That’s just not what happened, from any credible historical sources or even some of the most biased anti-American ones.

And none of this ugly history is anything to celebrate.  The Balangiga Massacre may have been a short-lived tactical victory for Filipino forces, even though it was not a complete victory.  But the massacre was an enormous strategic blunder because it outraged American forces and quite predictably provoked a massive and deadly campaign of retaliation that the Filipino forces had absolutely no chance of fighting off.

In short, it was a very stupid and impulsive move.  No matter how terrible the American reprisals were, they were entirely foreseeable and the results were disastrous for Filipinos (and Americans).  The Filipino forces were ruthlessly crushed after a long and terrible campaign to isolate them from the civilian population and other guerrillas.

It’s taken a long, long time to get to the point where the bells are being returned.

It seemed like every time some progress was being made, loudmouth politicians and “activists” attempted to attach themselves to the situation and publicly “demand” that the bells be immediately handed over — which pretty much guaranteed that would not happen.

Even now, some of Dturd’s butt-kissing minions are trying hard to exploit the return of the bells for propaganda purposes and to boost his popularity, which is a real shame.

And some foolish Americans have jumped on board too.  Somehow, American actor Danny Glover was duped in 2015 into reading the narration for a ridiculous online fund-raising propaganda video in which he unwittingly intones with the absolutely preposterous claim that the Balangiga bells are “the most important religious relic of all Filipinos.”  That’s just nuts.

The opportunistic video includes lots of other distortions and out-of-context footage that destroys any credibility it might have achieved had it been supervised by adults.  All of which is just really, really sad.

The Philippines now has a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the return of the bells and to demonstrate some national maturity.

Or people can gloat and posture, distort history, create resentment, and turn this whole thing into yet another ridiculous national embarrassment.

We’re counting on the former.  But we still have some doubts….

UPDATE:  In its latest installment, Rappler continues to demonstrate its cluelessness.

The publication “reports” today that:

“The Americans retaliated with a campaign to kill Filipino males over the age of 10 in the town. US military officers ordered their troops to turn Balangiga into a ‘howling wilderness.’

Philippine historians estimated that at least 10,000 Filipinos were killed during the retaliatory attack.”

Once again, it’s important to understand that Filipinos had evacuated Balangiga by the time the Americans returned with reinforcements; the “howling wilderness” and “kill those over ten” order came a full month later in relation to American Marine reinforcements who were sent to Samar; the order was given by a single person, General Jacob Smith, rather than “officers;” the order was directed at the island of Samar rather than merely the town of Balangiga; and the order was countermanded by the Marines and there is no evidence that it was systematically carried out.  Furthermore, there is no basis in fact to support the estimate that “10,000 Filipinos were killed during the retaliatory attack,” which was actually a whole series of reprisals in a campaign across Samar rather than any single attack; and at any rate, the population of Balangiga was nowhere near 10,000 even before it was evacuated, so there’s simply no way the Americans could ever have killed 10,000 people at Balangiga.

Another typically half-assed Rappler story today states that:  “The return of the bells had been a sensitive issue. They symbolized how Balangiga locals outsmarted Americans at a US garrison in Balangiga, killing 48 US troops. The victory came with a high cost, however. The Americans retaliated by burning the town and killing all male Filipinos aged at least 10 years old.”

So once again, more than 100 years later, a lazy journalist casually makes the leap from an order being given to an order being carried out, and conflates the immediate burning of the evacuated town of Balangiga with the later campaign of reprisals across Samar.

It’s a little like the difference between reporting that Dturd had another tantrum and said Catholic bishops should be killed, and reporting that Catholic bishops were in fact rounded up and killed.

And as far as asserting that the Filipinos “outsmarted” the Americans in launching the surprise attack, well, that’s just juvenile and unnecessary.  But hardly surprising, especially coming from Rappler.

We’re not picking on Rappler, which has actually provided some of the more coherent coverage of the saga of the bells.  But Rappler does presume to “fact-check” many assertions made by others, so should therefore be held to a very high standard.

And some of the stuff regarding Balangiga that’s produced by others is just ridiculous.

For example, the severely grammatically and credibility challenged Philippine News Agency weighed in today with this howler:

“After being taken by US troops as war booties during the Philippine-American war, the return of the Balangiga Bells to its home is proof that Filipinos will always assert their sovereignty, Malacañang said on Tuesday.”

*Sigh*  “Booty” is singular or plural when referring to ill-gotten property.  “Booties” refers to something entirely different.  And the bells are being returned to their home, not its home.

But beyond the obvious stupidity, the more important points are these:

  1.  The bells were not taken as “war booty,” a term that refers to property stolen by troops for personal gain.  The bells were taken as symbols and memorials.  They didn’t make anyone rich.
  2.  The notion that Filipinos “will always assert their sovereignty,” when professed by this administration, is utterly contemptible, since the president and his minions have obviously failed to assert the nation’s sovereignty with regard to China’s unlawful incursions and blatant seizure of Philippine territory.  But it’s a lot easier to make a big show of standing up to the Americans and claiming victory over symbolism from a past century than it is to actually defend a nation and its core interests today.


In a new update, Rappler continues its tradition of badly bungling and distorting the history of the Balangiga Massacre and subsequent events.  The latest story falsely claims the following:

“The bells had been used to signal a historic siege by Filipinos against American troops, resulting in the US’ worst single defeat in the Philippines. The siege prompted the US to retaliate and turn Balangiga into a “howling wilderness” by killing thousands of locals.”

First of all, it’s been disputed whether more than one of the bells were used to signal the devastating surprise attack.  But to label that attack a “siege” is simply ridiculous and demonstrates a total lack of understanding of basic military terminology.  Simply put, a siege refers to a lengthy military operation in which forces surround an enemy position or stronghold and cut off essential supplies with the goal of forcing those inside to surrender.  A siege does not refer to a relatively brief surprise attack in which the attacking forces suddenly kill the majority of their enemy before being driven off, allowing the survivors to escape and summon reinforcements, as clearly occurred at Balangiga.

Furthermore, once again, the “howling wilderness” order from General Jacob Smith was given to US Marines who were deployed to Samar following the massacre.  The order applied to the island of Samar, not merely the town of Balangiga, which Filipino forces had evacuated after the massacre and which was empty when American Army troops quickly returned, burned the town, and seized the bells — all before Smith gave his order to the Marines.  There were not “thousands of locals” at Balangiga when the Americans first returned, and no credible historian has ever asserted that there were.

Rappler and other media just keep regurgitating the same old shitty reporting, lazy distortions, and pseudo-nationalist propaganda again and again, making the disinformation and misunderstanding steadily worse.

A publication that consistently produces such crap should seriously consider whether it should really be in the business of fact-checking others.


Rappler weighs in again today with another shitty story of recycled bogus information that includes the following regurgitated nonsense:  “The bells had been used to signal a historic siege by Filipinos against American troops, resulting in the US’ worst single defeat in the Philippines. The siege prompted the US to retaliate and turn Balangiga into a ‘howling wilderness’ by killing thousands of locals.”

*Sigh*  No “siege.”  No “thousands of locals” left at Balangiga when the Americans returned.  Just plenty of lazy and incompetent “reporting.”


In a shocking display of diplomacy and civility, Dturd resisted the urge to gloat and rant, and actually conducted himself with something resembling maturity and decorum.  But maybe some of his minions were a little too eager to please him?

Meanwhile, Rappler remains utterly clueless and continues to repeat the same old false narrative:  “historic siege,” and “American forces led the Balangiga Massacre,” linked yet again to a previous Rappler article that describes quite the opposite and correctly explains that the Americans led a campaign of reprisals after Filipinos led the Balangiga Massacre (in which Filipinos hacked 48 Americans to pieces with bolos, which for some reason few contemporary “journalists” seem willing to note in their otherwise breathless descriptions of those gruesome events).

Hissy-fit drama queen dramatically urges calm

Roque surprised Trump

Anyone possessing the faculties of a monkey and the memory of a mosquito knows that Harry Roque is the ultimate Manila press con drama queen.

That’s why it’s so shameless and unintentionally hilarious for Roque, in his current role as lapdog-apologist-for-sick-dictatorial-mass-murderer, to hypocritically assume the tone of adult-in-the-room and presume to rebuke Senator Trillanes about press con drama.

Alfalfa Harry-Roque fisting

Especially since Roque’s whole denouncement of Trillanes was of course itself press con drama.

But what else would anyone expect from a toupee-torturing dork who peddles gruesome crime scene photos and waddles onto a military base with a gaggle of cameras in tow to stage a ridiculous fence-hopping freak show?

And why wasn’t he disbarred for that stupid shit?

Yapping Roque and Mocha eyes and Duterte